I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
