This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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