Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
