Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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