O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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