party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
