return my video game
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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