my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
worst night to have a conscience
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
