I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
