We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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