My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
