I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I need water and some morals
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