I'm going to jail i love you
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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