I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
