He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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