Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
These tits shall not be calmed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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