I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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