Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
