Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
