saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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