I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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