I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
