i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
