I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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