Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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