ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
