Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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