guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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