I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
