pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
