I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize