some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize