Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize