hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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