Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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