I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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