just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
