i barfeds in our rink
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
