I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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