Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
