did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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