I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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