sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
