theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
