I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize