Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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