His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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