My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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