Just fell off a train. Bad.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
