I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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