Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize