i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
