Do you still have your period?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
