I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize