Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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