dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
