Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
